The holidays are a wonderful time to catch up with family and friends, and celebrate the season together.  They are also an opportune time to do a loving check up on your aging family members. If you are only able to see your parents once or twice a year, you are in a good position to notice changes that might be a cause for concern.

Arrange to have some one-on-one time with your parents during your visit. Take a drive. Walk together around the house. Look for – and listen for – changes and warning signs in these three areas: 1) Health and hygiene; 2) Safety; and 3) Money management.

Health and hygiene

This is probably the first area where you will notice any significant changes. Has your parent lost weight since the last time you saw them? Is there a change in their attention to self-care or hygiene? If your Mom has always been neatly groomed and now is much less so, it could be a sign of depression. Or maybe she has a problem with mobility. Pay attention to the way she moves and how she walks. Encourage her to share with you any physical limitations that are frustrating her.

Also, note any changes in social behaviors. Has your parent stopped going out with friends or participating in long-favored activities?  Ask about doctor visits, and do an inventory of medications. When were they last filled? Is the amount left in the bottle consistent with the amount that should have been consumed since then? Are any medications expired? Check out the refrigerator (subtly, of course) and pantry to eliminate any expired food items and get a sense for whether your loved one is getting enough nutrition.  You may want to contact their doctor if you see warning signs in any of these areas.

Safety – driving and around the home

Most people say they’d prefer to stay in their own home as they age. But that isn’t always practical, due to safety, health or mobility concerns.  Walk around your parent’s house to look for and eliminate any safety hazards. The number one risk for people as they age is falls, and many of those happen in the bathroom. The kitchen can be another safety hazard area.  Look for unsafe clutter, throw rugs, and other items that might cause a fall. What kind of shoes or slippers does your parent wear around the house? Are they likely to slip? A Place for Mom has a comprehensive checklist you can use to assess your parent’s safety at home.

If your parent is still driving, be their passenger and look for any signs of difficulty in maneuvering the vehicle or responding to traffic, stop lights, etc. Look for things like a decrease in confidence while driving, getting lost in familiar places, riding the brake, etc. The Hartford has a complete list of things to look for in Safe Driving for a Lifetime.

Money management

One of the first areas some seniors have difficulty with is household finances. Paying bills, balancing the checkbook and other routine financial and administrative activities often become overwhelming. Look for piles of unpaid bills, past due taxes or dunning letters. The elderly are also prime targets for fraud – unnecessary repairs, get-rich-quick schemes, and financial abuse from caretakers or others.  There are a number of scams that specifically target seniors.

 If you see warning signs in any of these areas, I can help!  My services are designed to ensure your aging loved one’s well-being and provide you with peace of mind. Please contact me for a free 30-minute consultation. Minda Cutcher, 408.318-0828 or minda@mindacutcher.com.