If you are caring for an aging loved one, you’ve probably already recognized that it’s difficult to do everything yourself, especially if you’re also trying to balance the needs of your own family and work obligations. The good news is, there are many resources available to you for help. In the coming months I’ll be writing about some of those resources and how they have become the network of professionals I use to serve my clients. It takes a village…

I met Lucy through a friend of mine. She was 85 years old and suffering from Parkinson’s disease. A widow for 10 years, she still lived in the home she and her husband had built and where they had raised their son.

Lucy had been very active in her church until she’d had to give up driving a few years earlier. One of Lucy’s friends from church helped Lucy with paperwork and finances, but they felt that this arrangement was negatively affecting their friendship. That’s where I came in. A neutral, qualified third party is often the best option for personal financial management, whether it’s monthly bill pay or investment management.

At the start I visited Lucy once a month to go through her mail and pay her bills. I set up a filing system and worked with her to determine what to file, what to shred and what to recycle. I balanced her checkbook and wrote the checks for her to sign. Lucy’s condition was worsening, and she was beginning to show some signs of cognitive decline. Loss of the ability to do simple math calculations is often a sign of dementia.

Lucy’s only child lived overseas, and other than her friends from church she had no one close by to look in on her. With her failing health it was clear she needed some additional help. She’d already been hospitalized for one fall, and was seriously at risk for others as she became less stable. This was when I called in one of my colleagues – a Geriatric Care Manager. When the Care Manager determined that it was no longer safe for Lucy to live in her home by herself, I managed the move. I helped Lucy decide what to keep, what to donate and what to re-purpose and then packed her up, hired the moving company and got her unpacked on the other end.

After helping Lucy get settled in the assisted living facility, I continued to take care of her monthly bill pay (Daily Money Management). One of the things that came up through this process was getting her long term care (LTC) insurance to begin payments. This is an area where a knowledgeable advocate can be very helpful as long term care doesn’t just begin automatically. It took almost 3 months, including weekly, then daily calls to the insurer and one letter to the State Insurance Commissioner before Lucy’s benefits kicked in! The good news is that they paid retroactive to the date she first qualified for care, and her insurance is now offsetting her $5000/month cost with a $3000/month benefit.

Lucy’s story doesn’t end here. In my next blog we’ll talk about what happens when money gets in the way of family relationships – which happens way too often – and where to turn for help.