“You know what they say, the memory’s the first thing to go.” How often has a friend jokingly said that to you when you can’t remember the name of an actor, or have forgotten something (again) at home?

The thing is, memory is often one of the first things to falter as we age. But how do you know if it’s just normal age-related memory loss or a sign of dementia? And if you’re caring for an aging parent whose memory if failing, how do you know when it’s time to seek a medical opinion?

An article in HelpGuide.org, a collaborative with Harvard Health Publications, describes normal age-related memory changes as when someone has occasional memory lapses, but is still able to function independently and pursue normal activities despite those lapses. Dementia may be indicated, however, if the person has “difficult performing simple tasks (paying bills, dressing appropriately, washing up).” Essentially, when they forget how to do things they’ve done many times before. Normal aging may cause someone to occasionally have difficulty finding the right word, but they can still hold a conversation. With dementia, the person may frequently forget or misuse words, or repeat phrases and stories in the same conversation.

Some people with memory loss are diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI). According to the Alzheimer’s Association, people with MCI have an increased risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease in the near future, especially when their main problem involves memory. Not everyone, however, diagnosed with MCI progresses to Alzheimer’s or another type of dementia.

So what is dementia? Dementia occurs when brain cells are damaged and cannot communicate normally with each other. This can affect thinking, behavior and feelings. Dementia is not a disease. It is a general term that describes symptoms of mental decline that disrupt daily life associated with more than one of the core brain functions – recent memory, language, visuospatial function (the ability to judge where objects are, for example) and executive function (planning, reasoning, focusing, solving problems).

Alzheimer’s disease is the leading cause of dementia, accounting for 60-80% of cases, according to the Mayo Clinic. Common symptoms include difficulty multi-tasking, mood changes, repeating things, confusion, trouble with expressing thoughts, and getting lost in familiar places.

Some rather startling statistics about Alzheimer’s from the Alzheimer’s Association include:

• 1 in 9 Americans over 65 has Alzheimer’s disease
• Alzheimer’s is the 6^th leading cause of death in America (Centers for Disease Control)
• Typical life expectancy after an Alzheimer’s diagnosis is 4 to 8 years
• Unless a cure is found, more than 16 million Americans will have the disease by 2050
• The cost of caring for Alzheimer’s patients in the U.S. was estimated in 2016 at $236 billion

There currently is no cure for Alzheimer’s, but there are treatments to slow the disease.  These are most effective when it’s diagnosed early. The good news is that because of our aging population there are a number of studies in progress, such as the scoring system developed by the Mayo Clinic, to do just that.

If you’re concerned that your aging parent may have dementia, here are some signs to watch for:

• Getting lost in familiar places
• Repetitive questioning
• Odd or inappropriate behaviors
• Forgetfulness of recent events
• Repeated falls or loss of balance
• Personality changes
• Decline in planning and organization
• Changes in diet/eating habits
• Changes in hygiene
• Increased apathy
• Changes in language abilities, including comprehension

Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia can take a toll on family members and caretakers as well as the person with the diagnosis. I have experience working with families going through this and the financial challenges it presents. Please reach out to me if you need some help.