Spending the holidays with aging relatives?

The holidays present a great opportunity to check in on your aging loved ones to assess whether they need additional help. If you only see your parents a few times a year, you may, in fact, notice more changes than someone who sees them on a regular basis. Here are some specific things to look for.

Cognitive/behavioral changes. Is your parent significantly more forgetful than the last time you were together? Are they forgetting basic things like , how to use appliances, or who people are? Have they changed from being active and social to just wanting to stay home alone? Have they given up favorite hobbies or interests? Showing a lack of interest in formerly favorite activities is often a sign of depression.

Health/hygiene. Take note of your loved one’s personal care. Are they wearing the same clothes several days in a row? If they are unkempt or have a body odor it could signal a health or cognitive issue.
If they were normally fastidious about their appearance and now don’t seem to care, they might be suffering from depression.  Has their weight changed significantly since you last saw them? Do they have mobility or continence issues?

Prescription drugs. Check their prescriptions to be sure they are not past their expiration date.  Do they have a system that will remind them to take the appropriate dosage at the intervals prescribed by their doctor?

Home maintenance. Take a walk around the house and look for stacks of mail, dirty laundry, excessive dust and clutter. Check out the bathrooms, kitchen, refrigerator and eating area for signs of neglect. If it appears your loved one isn’t maintaining these areas as well as they used to, it could be a sign of a physical limitation or the onset of dementia.

Holidays

Finances. One of the first areas some seniors start having difficulty with is household finances. Paying bills, balancing the checkbook and other routine financial activities often become overwhelming. Look for piles of unpaid bills, dunning letters or shut-off notices. The elderly are also prime targets for fraud – unnecessary repairs, get-rich-quick schemes, and financial abuse from caretakers or others.

Safety. If your parent is still driving, take a quick look at their vehicle to make sure tires are properly inflated, lights are working, etc. Keep an eye out for nicks and dents, which may be signs of careless driving or failing eyesight. Take a ride with your parent in the driver’s seat. Do they control the vehicle well and react quickly enough? Are they overly cautious? Are they easily distracted and/or nervous behind the wheel? These may be warning signs indicating the need for a closer assessment. The Hartford has a complete list of warning signs at www.safedrivingforalifetime.com. Also look around the house for obstacles your loved one might trip on, such as throw rugs, and for any other potentially dangerous situations.

If you see warning signs in any of these areas, I can help.  My services are designed to ensure your aging loved one’s well-being and provide you with peace of mind. Please contact me for a free 30-minute consultation. Minda Cutcher, 408.318-0828 or minda@mindacutcher.com.

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