This is the second in a series of “client” stories focused on providing information and resources to those who are caring for aging loved ones. Keep in mind that I’ve changed names and mingled some details to honor my clients’ confidentiality and protect their privacy.

Last month I introduced you to Jennifer, a client of mine who was caring for her 82-year old mother, Dorothy. When we left off in our story, Jennifer’s mom was in the hospital with a fractured shoulder, and Jennifer was faced with having to choose a skilled nursing facility from a list of five facilities given to her by the doctor.

By this time Jennifer had contacted me through a referral from another client. During our initial (complimentary) consultation, it quickly became clear to me that Jennifer was stretched pretty thin trying to manage her own life – fulltime work and family – while trying to ensure her mom’s health, safety and well-being.  My first order of business was to give Jennifer some guidance in choosing an appropriate skilled nursing facility.

Although the doctor or hospital provides a list of local facilities, they do not make a recommendation. It’s up to the family, in this case Jennifer, to choose.  I did some initial research on the facilities and then Jennifer chose three of the five to visit in person. In California, where Jennifer’s mom lives, we have California Advocates for Nursing Home Reform (CANHR), whose website has myriad resources such as reports of violations, deficiencies, complaints and citations over several years. Medicare has a nursing home checklist that provides questions to ask as you review a facility, and AARP provides a nursing home comparison checklist.

Although Jennifer’s Mom was most likely going to be in the facility only for a short term stay, it was important to Jennifer – and to her Mom’s recovery – that she be in pleasant surroundings with enough activity to keep her engaged and motivated to get well. Jennifer did the personal visit, interview and “sniff test” and was able to find a suitable facility for her Mom.

Jennifer felt some relief once her Mom was settled in skilled nursing, but she recognized that the entire ordeal was an indicator that her Mom was probably going to need some additional help once she went home.  On the fifth week of her Mom’s stay, the social worker informed Jennifer that they would be releasing her Mom the following week. She then asked Jennifer what her plan was for when her Mom was able to go home.

Join us next time for Part 3 of Jennifer’s story, when she and I perform a safety check of Dorothy’s home and discuss options for in home care.

Fast Facts

• 20% of people who enter skilled nursing stay an average of less than 3 months.
• Currently, 24% of Americans over the age of 85 live in a nursing home.
• For a couple turning 65, there is a 70% chance that one of them will need long term care. (The Wall Street Journal)