If you are caring for an aging loved one, you know that it can often be overwhelming.  The good news is, help and resources are available! As a Financial Advocate for Seniors, part of the value I provide is helping adult children tap into resources and services – both mine and those of my trusted associates– that will ease the physical and emotional toll of caretaking.  In the coming months I’ll be sharing some client stories with you focused on two goals: 1) to give you some valuable tips for a variety of situations and 2) to let you know that you are not alone!  Keep in mind that I’ve changed names and mingled some details to honor my clients’ confidentiality and protect their privacy.

Let’s begin with my client Jennifer.  Jennifer’s widowed Mom, Dorothy, 82, was in fairly good health, but was beginning to slow down and get a little unsteady on her feet.  Yet despite Jennifer’s urging, she refused to use a cane or a walker. Dorothy still drove – she cherished her independence – but her outings were limited to the doctor, the grocery store and her weekly bingo game at the senior center.

Jennifer was married, worked fulltime and had two children in college. She had one sibling, a brother, who lived in New York with his family, and only made it out for a visit every two or three years.

Over the couple of years before I met her, Jennifer had been spending an increasing amount of time on activities related to her Mom.  She accompanied her to the doctor when she could, called her almost daily to check in and typically visited her on the weekend.

One afternoon when Jennifer called, her Mom took a longer-than-normal time to answer. When Dorothy finally did answer, she was out of breath and audibly upset. She managed to tell Jennifer that she had fallen in her bathroom about an hour earlier, and had to crawl to the phone in her bedroom. Jennifer drove to her Mom’s house immediately, and with the help of a neighbor, got her Mom into the car and took her to the local hospital emergency room.  X-rays showed that Dorothy had fractured her right shoulder and would need to be admitted to the hospital. Jennifer’s level of Mom-care just moved up a notch.

Falls are one of the biggest risk factors as we age, and for many seniors can be the turning point from living independently to living with some type of assistance. To this point, Jennifer hadn’t thought seriously about long term care for her Mom. Although she hoped her Mom would fully recover, she realized that she needed to at least start some research. And that’s when she came to me.

Join us next time for Part 2 of Jennifer’s story, when, after her Mom has been in the hospital for three days, Jennifer is faced with having to choose a skilled nursing facility from the list of five facilities given her by the doctor.

Fast Facts

• Long term care conversations with your aging parents should happen earlier rather than later.
• Medicare will cover up to 100 days in a skilled nursing facility providing the patient has been in the hospital for at least 3 days.
• According to the Center for Disease Control, falls are the leading cause of both fatal and nonfatal injuries among older adults.