One of the biggest contributors to strained relationships within families is money. This is especially true in families where adult children recognize and try to address the need to help their aging parents with their finances. A qualified, third-party financial professional, such as a Daily Money Manager can provide tremendous value – both in keeping the finances under control, and in maintaining positive familial relationships. This is exactly what I did for my client MaryAnn and her adult children. Here’s her story.

MaryAnn was an independent, 75-year old, active senior who had been living on her own since her divorce 20 years prior. She had four adult children, all of whom had families of their own as well as busy lives and careers. Three children lived out of state and one, a daughter, lived locally.

MaryAnn had grown up in affluence, and never really needed to worry about money during her childhood or later, during her marriage, when her husband took care of everything. Divorced at 55, she didn’t even know how to balance her checkbook, and consistently lived beyond her means. Because she was unable to manage her money on her own, her daughter stepped in. She gave MaryAnn a monthly allowance, which rarely lasted her the month, and which consistently increased the strain between mother and daughter. After 5 years, it became clear that some outside expertise was needed. And that’s when the family hired me.

In assessing the situation, I realized that MaryAnn needed more than just help with balancing her checkbook. She needed budget coaching.

I started by going through MaryAnn’s monthly fixed expenses, such as rent, and variable expenses, such as utilities or emergency dental work, with her. I had her collect all her receipts for the month, for several months, and then we put them into a spreadsheet, along with her income. We discussed instances when her expenses exceeded her earnings. We worked on projecting upcoming expenses to develop a budget. We also looked at areas where she could trim costs, such as finding less expensive car insurance and more economical cable/internet/telephone service. I advocated for her with her landlord to minimize a rent increase. And, we were able to cut enough discretionary spending for MaryAnn to afford a housekeeper once a month.

To provide transparency for the family, the budget is posted securely on Google Drive so they can see how MaryAnn is tracking.

During my first year with MaryAnn we met for about two hours each month. During that year she developed the discipline to keep receipts, began to enter them on her own, and most importantly, she learned to visualize the relationship between expenses and income. At the end of last year, we created a budget for this year and MaryAnn has taken on more responsibility for managing the process. She’s happy that she has more control, and her family is happy that they can keep abreast of her finances without being intrusive – and they can be children (not pursers) for their mom.

Sometimes a little coaching can go a long way…