Many of us only see our parents a few times a year, and usually it’s during the holidays. Phone calls are generally more frequent, but often our parents are reluctant to complain or admit to us that there’s a problem. They are, after all, the parents. Holiday visits provide the perfect opportunity to get a first-hand look at how your parents are doing. And they don’t even have to know you’re checking up on them. Here are five specific areas to assess and what to look for.

1. Hygiene/home maintenance. As you settle in, take a walk around the house and look for stacks of mail, dirty laundry and clutter. Check out the bathrooms, kitchen, refrigerator and eating area for signs of neglect. If it appears your parent or loved one isn’t maintaining these areas as well as they used to, it could be a sign of a physical limitation or the onset of dementia. Also pay attention to their personal hygiene. If they are unkempt or have a body odor it could signal a health issue. If they were normally fastidious about their appearance and now don’t seem to care they might be suffering from depression.
2. Finances. One of the first areas seniors start having difficulty with is finances. Paying bills, balancing the checkbook and other routine financial activities often become overwhelming. Look for piles of unpaid bills, dunning letters or shut-off notices. The elderly are also prime targets for fraud – unnecessary repairs, get-rich-quick schemes, and financial abuse from caretakers or other family members. In my practice I have helped my clients have peace of mind by getting their arms around the family finances – including putting controls in place to prevent elderly parents from being victims of fraud, and saving them money on expenses such as insurance and utilities.
3. Health. Has your loved one’s weight changed significantly since the last time you saw them? Do they have mobility issues? Check their prescriptions to be sure they are not past their expiration date and check to see if they have a system set up that will remind them to take the appropriate dosage at the intervals prescribed by their doctor.
4. Safety. If your parent is still driving, spend some time looking at their vehicle to make sure tires are properly inflated, lights are working, etc. Look for nicks and dents, which may be signs of careless driving. Take a ride with your parent in the driver’s seat. Do they control the vehicle well and react quickly enough? Are they easily distracted and/or nervous behind the wheel? These may be warning signs indicating the need for a closer assessment. The Hartford has a complete list of warning signs. Also look around the house for obstacles your loved one might trip on, such as throw rugs, and for any other potentially dangerous situations.
5. Social life. Has your loved one always been active and social and now suddenly doesn’t want to go out anymore? Have they given up favorite hobbies or interests? Showing a lack of interest in formerly favorite activities is often a sign of depression.

If you see warning signs in any of these areas it may be time to bring in some additional help for your parents. In addition to helping with issues in the financial areas, I have a network of professionals in the elder care industry that could provide assistance. Please contact me for a free 60-minute consultation.

Minda Cutcher, 408.279.3269.