Family gatherings around the holidays are a great time to celebrate, catch up, and renew familial bonds.  They are also the perfect time to do some planning for the future. Adult children of aging parents should use this opportunity to discuss with their parents where important documents are kept and what their wishes are in the event of failing health or needing long term care.

Children who live far away may notice changes in their parents’ mobility and mental capacity more so than those who see them on a regular basis. This is an opportunity to compare notes and assess:

• Home safety
• Parents’ driving capability
• Bill payments/late notices
• Medication use/supply

AARP offers tips to help families who are “home for the holidays” determine whether their elderly loved ones can safely live in their own homes, drive and manage their finances.

Once the assessment is made, the next step is having a family discussion to resolve any issues identified, and create a plan for the future.  This can be an area of contention, even for the closest of families. How much longer can the parent drive? Where will they live when the time comes? Collaboratively developing a plan before eldercare becomes imminent can prevent these conflicts.

The National Care Planning Council’s book, The 4 Steps of Long Term Care Planning provides guidelines and checklists for family planning meetings. Here are some basic steps:

1. Get all interested persons together in one place at one time.
2. If the parent is still in good health (which is the ideal time to develop the plan) he/she should conduct the meeting.
3. After a thorough discussion of the issues and solutions, there should be a consensus of all present to support the plan.
4. A written care plan should be developed with each family member signing it to confirm their commitment.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services states:

“No one wants to think about a time when they might need long-term care. So planning ahead for this possibility often gets put off. Most people first learn about long-term care when they or a loved one needs care. Then their options are often limited by lack of information, the immediate need for services, and insufficient resources to pay for preferred services. Planning ahead allows you to have more control over your future.”