As our parents age, many of the routine activities they performed when they were younger – cleaning house, paying bills, grocery shopping – become difficult for them.  This may be for physical reasons – arthritis, for example – emotional reasons – or simply a diminished capacity to handle numbers or make decisions.
It’s pretty easy to spot if they aren’t cleaning house or haven’t been to the grocery store in awhile. It’s harder to recognize when there’s a money management problem.  Many older adults are reluctant to discuss money matters, especially with family members. They may be embarrassed to admit that they aren’t as confident or as in control as they once were.  Here are some signs that your parents may need help, and some things you can do to gently assist.
Piles of unopened mail.  We all complain about junk mail, but to the elderly the daily delivery of random ads and offers along with the “real stuff” can be overwhelming. They may choose to “deal with it later.” Then later becomes a lot later and soon bills to be paid – or checks to be deposited – are buried and forgotten.  Here are a few things you can do: 

1. Go to this website to remove your parents from junk mail distribution lists: http://www.ecofuture.org/jnkmail.html
2. Help them set up automatic bill pay to ensure their bills are paid accurately and on time
3. Help them set up automatic deposit for their social security, pension and any other income

Unknown charges on credit card statements. Older adults are especially vulnerable to inadvertently accepting special offers the credit card companies make to their customers.  The call may go something like this: “Hello, Mrs. X. Because you’re a valued customer, we are offering you participation in a special program that will protect your identity…(or credit or pay the balance should you lose your job…)”  The fees for these “special offers” are a percentage of the credit card balance and are often just  a few dollars that on a single statement don’t make much difference. Still, the cumulative effect of that charge month after month can make a big difference to someone on a fixed income. Here’s what you can do:

1. Check your parents’ credit card statements periodically and cancel charges for any “special offers” they did not understand or intend to accept. (Unless you are on the account you may need to have them on the line with you, or have a financial Power of Attorney for them).
2. Encourage your parents to just say “no” to telemarketers. Convince them that it’s OK to hang up even though their own mother might not approve.
3. Register your parents’ phone number on the National Do Not Call list: https://www.donotcall.gov/

Letters and multiple phone calls from bill collectors. Is some of that unopened mail letters from bill collectors? Are your parents getting calls from the bank, service providers or other creditors? If so, contact the caller yourself to find out whether their claim is legitimate and then, arrange to pay or, if applicable, set up an automated pay plan.  Many bill collectors use tactics that  are considered harassment and are thus in violation of the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act, which prohibits debt collectors from using abusive, unfair or deceptive practices to collect from consumers. If you feel this may be the case, there’s great advice on this website: http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/credit/cre18.shtm
It may take a little extra time to go through these items, but when it comes to your parents’ finances the old adage – a stitch in time saves nine! – definitely holds true.
For more tips on helping with your parents finances, check out my previous blog: 5 easy ways to help protect your aging parents’ cash.